


Adding shadows to the walls of our cave

by Sylvalum



Category: Astral Chain (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Somewhat Body Dysphoria, spoilers to file 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:33:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22007908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sylvalum/pseuds/Sylvalum
Summary: Hal is quiet for a moment and the alley is dark around them. “Not that much,” he says, finally. “Hey, you’re… still you. Still human. You know that, right?” the worry in it and how he pitches his voice to hopeful on the wordrightfeels like a dull pain to her, to hear it. To know he cares.
Relationships: Hal/Player Character (Astral Chain)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 37





	Adding shadows to the walls of our cave

**Author's Note:**

> oh Astral Chain. oh man. oh boy. oh wow.  
Anyway, player's name is Alex here, bc it's nice and fits with Akira.  
title from the song _sedated_ by Hozier

Like a queen of old Earthen kingdoms now long buried beneath corruption sending off her hawk into the bush to hunt rabbits, the Legion springs forth from her hand and into flight at Alex’s command. She needs to do no more than twitch her wrist - the Legion shares a mind with her, however reluctantly, and acts as quick and intuitive as her own arm.

It’s synchronisation.

It is, above all else and as the most vitally important thing, _ control. _

And sometimes it’s like she can almost feel how the Legion rips the Core out of a Chimera, the beating pulsing snarling rage of the jagged cube squeezed in its claws.

Sometimes one of her Legions would brush up against a wall and she’d jolt, barely reigning in her flinch of surprise from  _ feeling it. _

Sometimes she’d stand in the bathroom with her face too close to the mirror, standing there and peering at her cheek like the smooth peach skin was going to peel off into blue glyphs just because she was watching.

(Akira mentioned it. The blue. And Alex saw the red taking over her brother’s face, too)

Sometimes… she used to wonder.

Now Alex doesn’t have to wonder anymore. Now she _ knows. _ The monster’s out of the cage now. Is the knowledge better than the abstract fear of before? Is it better to not know, than to wake up here in Zone 09 and to hear from Hal and Olive how she almost killed her own twin, how a monster burst from her own skin and bones and brought her snarling back to life? Like the Chimeras she’s fought and she’s fighting  _ now? _

-but the fight of the moment’s over already. Short-lived - every fight with a Legion is short-lived, because Alex has chained the power of a storm to herself; lighting strikes every time she lets the chain fly. The fights are over in moments and if they aren’t then someone will inevitably end up bleeding out on the ground because of her.

But now, there’s nothing. Alex calls back her Legion with a snap of the astral chain and after that the silence in the alley is almost deafening, with no hum of traffic or distant chatter to be heard.

It’s so quiet she can hear herself breathing. Feel any presence around her as keenly as the chill in the air.

Something’s coming.

In the span of the two seconds when Hal’s cheerfully yellow drone then comes around the corner Alex almost sends a Legion lunging at it before logic takes over pure animal instinct, and she recognises it. She stands awkwardly stiff for a moment too long until she manages to loosen her posture, less parade rest and more _ what’s up mate, _ and she nods at Hal’s drone as it hovers up to her.

“Uh, yeah, hi. You’re ok?” comes Hal’s ever crackly voice. “I thought I heard sounds of fighting…”

“Chimeras,” Alex says curtly. Same as usual. She’s killed - not quite hundreds of them, but it’s starting to become a depressingly high number either way. Not that she’s kept count, because Chimeras can’t even be described as alive. Why would she count?

“Ah, well, alright then. You’ve got those handled, right?” Hal chuckles awkwardly.

Alex shrugs, turning away. In the fight a stack of boxes and some piles of garbage bags got knocked over - which Akira would no doubt whine about, if he was here, but he  _ isn’t, _ because Alex just barely didn’t kill him on that highway and then she had to be removed from the game entirely. Whatever Yoseph’s playing, he’s still got Akira in his grasp while Alex is out here in Zone 09 alone without her twin kicking at motherfucking  _ garbage piles- _

And  _ sometimes _ it’s like her vision flashes blue, for just a second. Viewing everything through a haze. Just a heartbeat and she can taste copper and she’s never been more afraid of herself than today.

“... Or not,” Hal says awkwardly from behind her shoulder. “Um, are you… alright? Do you want me to get Olive?”

_ “No,”  _ Alex says quickly, because if there’s one thing she knows it’s that she does  _ not  _ want anyone witnessing this, whatever it is - Hal doesn’t count, because it’s just Hal’s drone here. And Hal is - Hal’s okay, he can stay. Alex is the stoic, silent type compared to Akira’s constant fretting and starburst joy, wildfire rage. She’s got it together. She’s fine. She’s right here, but Akira could be anywhere. Being forced to do anything. And Alex is far away removed from him - she can’t even see him on the news, can’t receive any information about what he’s doing. She can’t touch him. She can’t hurt him.

She can’t even talk to him or see his face.

This is what Hal’s doing every day, really, watching the world from behind his cameras. Even here, in what she presumes is the very heart of his safe place, no one’s seen him in actual flesh and blood.

“Doesn’t it get lonely?” she asks, unclenching her fists as she turns to look at his drone.

“Uh - what?” The drone bobs gently in the air as Hal’s hologram flickers on above it.

“Piloting your drone. Never going out yourself.”

Alex has always been better at handling other people’s emotions than her own. Other people’s problems. Orders are good, that way. You don’t have to doubt yourself.

“Um.” There’s a crackle in the audio like Hal’s swallowing, as he considers her question. “I’d… well, no. I mean. There’s a reason I have this drone, you know? It’s… safe. If I - if possible, I think I’d rather have no body at all. Just be a… a presence on the internet, and this drone.”

Alex needs her body. She’s been making it into a weapon since she was a rookie in the regular police force, training, sparring, working out. Kneeling in alleys to tempt scared cats out of hiding, reaching down hands to help her fellow officers up, but also, always, always the fight. But she was never truly just a  _ weapon _ until she got the Legion - her mind syncs so perfectly with a wild, unfeeling beast that they can move as one body. So what the hell does that say about her? 

Nothing’s felt right ever since she woke up to Olive and Hal’s drone, worriedly hovering over her.

“Hal,” Alex says. Heavy. “Is there something wrong with my body?”

“I, uh,” Hal pauses. His hologram reveals nothing. “What do you mean?”

Alex flexes her fists, nails pressing into her palms so it’ll hurt. So she’ll feel it. Her fingers. Her hands. “My body. Did something change when I-”  _ almost killed Akira _ “-fused with my Legion?”

Hal is quiet for a moment and the alley is dark around them. “Not that much,” he says, finally. “Alex, you’re… still you. Still human. You know that, right?” the worry in it and how he pitches his voice to hopeful on the word  _ right  _ feels like a dull pain to Alex, to absorb his concern and then lie to his face anyway and say,

“Yeah. I am. Sure.”

“Mmm,” Hal hums miserably, seeing through it. “I- you know, I’ve had several of my people coming up to me today and saying - saying that you helped them. That you’re a real lifesaver. They all really like you, love you a lot, and-”

“Don’t-”

“-and so do I,” Hal finishes in a rush. His hologram is squirming in place. “It really, really meant a lot to me that you went with me to Sector V back then. Truly. And I’m so sorry you ended up in jail because of me-”

“You called, didn’t you?” Alex realises all at once. “I’m... sorry I didn’t answer.”

“It’s okay,” Hal says quickly. “Just. You are  _ not  _ the bad things you’ve done, or whatever you think it is you’ve done. Those are just - tiny mistakes. You’ve helped so many people, too. Saved so many. Remember that.”

Kids reunited with their crying mothers. The way Hal’s drone, Hal’s hologram isn’t really watching her, but just existing beside her. Waiting on her.

“...Thanks Hal.” She doesn’t feel quite  _ there _ in her skin, still, but maybe Hal feels like that too. Maybe Akira does, wherever he is. She is - if not human, then at least a friend of humans. Kindred spirit. People are more than just their flesh and bones, their bodies. Hal is, is so much more. Maybe Alex could learn to be, too.


End file.
